Not only is that title of this post possibly the most genius key phrase I’ve chosen thus far while blogging but after reading John Mayer’s interview over at playboy.com. I got the distinct Impression that John Mayer really is a douche bag. I mean I’m not surprised by his narcissistic behavior in the least bit. It’s typical of people that have attained his status, wealth, and fame. That’s my impression on the outside looking in anyway. It was probably one of the better interviews I’ve read in a long time. It was so candid. I recall wondering a few times if the guy might be drunk or sky high off that Peruvian nose candy they like to pass around so much out in L.A. In all actuality I think he was just being real and now he’s starting to embrace the “douche bag” light the media began to shine upon him following his separation from Jennifer Aniston. Let’s face it Jennifer Aniston is the poster child for the non blond white women of  America. Dating her is like dating 100 million women. Leaving her was like… well I think you see where I’m going with that so let’s move on. Halfway through the article I bump into a series of questions regarding Mayer’s rapport with Black America.

“PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”

I read that at LEAST three or four times trying to figure out exactly what he meant by that. While SMDH I had an epiphany…

“PLAYBOY: Do white women throw themselves at you?

TeK: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a Black supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ Khalid Muhammed cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”

I hear you John old chap. I like white women, I just don’t want to f^ck ‘em! As bizarre as that was, here’s the part that I really liked…

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

That’s the realest thing the dude said in this interview! If you have a real hood pass you can call it a “nigger” pass and not get your ass stomped to the point of unconsciousness, or get your teeth scattered all up and down the sidewalk,  or possibly even shot. He knows he can never have a REAL hood pass because he’ll never be able to say the word “n-word” in close proximity to a crowd of black people without being subject to some form of  adjudication. Having said that we the black delegation would like to state for the record that  we have on occasion and will again in the future issue such special credentials as the honorary hood pass and the temporary hood pass.  They can’t guarantee your safety after throwing a word like n1gger around but they can get you access to certain safer areas inside what I like to call the militarized zone. The SPECIAL hood pass just means your cool with any persons or institutions that are willing to acknowledge you carry such credentials. If you actually use your SPECIAL hood pass, I’d advise you to stay frosty. There are a hand full of ne’er-do-wells in every hood that don’t even respect REAL hood passes. In that case I can’t help you John… you douche bag!

P.S… Spend some of that hard earned money on a full time PR agent if you wanna dummy down speaking your mind after the firestorm that is currently occurring at this very moment. Then again you could just say the hell with it and stick by what you said. I didn’t see it as derogatory. You can still use your SPECIAL hood pass around the way.